Pete's thoughts

DJ, that sucks, I've been there before, really is frustrating when that happens

i can't believe how close your town is to where i go to school. i was there today!

yeah that is crazy, but cool

i think i'm getting sick

aww that stinks, I actually think I'm coming down with something as well sadly

I'm less than 100 post away from 5000 overall posts on the site!!! I'm gonna make it a goal to reach that by the end of this week!

Batman Arkham City is great!!

I put 2 games on layaway: Alice Madness Returns and Dead Rising 2 Off The Record. Dead Rising 2 Off The Records might end up being a gift from my mom though as I put it on layaway and my mom said she will pay for it for me. So that works . I also put Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep on layaway for my little sister, she loves the series and doesn't have this game. Am getting my mom and little sister a Blu-Ray player as well. They have a flatscreen, HD TV but no blu-ray, so had to get it for them.

Am getting my mom a dvd set of a mini series from the 80's and mid 90's called North and South. She loves the series and has wanted it for years. I'm finally getting it for her. Am planning on getting my older sister White Fang 1 + 2 and Iron Will. They are 3 of her favorite movies.

Now I gotta figure out my nephews. My mom got them a train set based on Thomas the Train, so I might get them 2 trains each, individually. Not sure yet though.

I also gotta get some of my friends gifts, I've never gotten any of them anything and wanna try and get them something this year. I've finally started to get decent hours at work, so should have no problem being able to get all of this. Hopefully everything still works out as well as it looks like it is gonna!

wow you have so many posts. i barely have any. i was never here for like 2 years tho cuz i was soo busy.

years ago i posted on idolforums and had almost 30k posts. i had NO LIFE.

I have moments where I post a lot and moments where I don't post at all, but I check the site every day. Sometimes just for a moment, and others I have time to actually read through things. It's taken me two years to get to this point lmao

just finished typing a paper that's due tomorrow. now i have time to do laundry tonight, seeing i have no towels left and hardly any clothes. >.<

Go go 5000 posts!!

people need to vote in the latest polls for my Interactive Survivor story, no one has voted yet!

today is my only day off from work this week. I'm working 11:30am to 4pm the next two days. Then 4pm to 11:30pm on Friday, and on Saturday I'm working 8am to 3:30pm. Saturday is gonna be a hard day to get through, with little sleep. Good thing is that I've got decent hours and am hoping next week I get as many as well.

yikes, that is tiring. i would die.

I've worked 16 hours straight before, I think I'll be fine, just haven't done it in a while so not really looking forward to it

Pretty sure when you hit 5000 posts you have to strip or w/e people did like that back in the day. I recall it was quite the rage at one point.

lol Zack I really don't remember, I know there was something that was done but cannot for the life of me recall, lmao

so today has been a really difficult day for me. Got some more bad news regarding my grandmother. I've been trying so hard to start being more positive and not so negative lately its just so hard to do when all I wanna do is break down and cry. I still haven't truly grieved for my grandfathers death, it hasn't fully hit me yet. I have been trying to keep myself busy so that it doesn't.

The thing with my grandmother is that in May she was told she had 6 months to live, which would have been this month. Over the summer she got good news that she would live longer. Today we found out the chemo didn't do anything and she only has a few more months left. I'm honestly scared to lose my grandmother cause I don't know how I'll be able to handle it. I wish I could do something to help her, I feel so useless

and sorry for posting about this here. I honestly try not to anymore but I can't really talk about it with my family right now cause we are all struggling with it.

My grandmother was the most important person in my life. She loved me unconditionally and she never ever made me feel stupid. She had an open door policy and she always let me come and go whenever i needed to, whenever i was hungry, whenever i was tired, when i needed new shoes, she was always there. I skipped school a lot to spend time at her house. I loved being at her house. I loved her so very much. In the end when she wasn't her self anymore, that was what was hard for me. It was hard for me to go visit her in the nursing home. I went several times but it was hard. The day she passed away, I was there at the hospital. Someone came out to the waiting room and told us that it was time. I went into her hospital room and I kissed her on the forehead and I told her "granny, just let go" ... and then she went. I was happy for her on one hand, she got to go spend eternity in heaven with all of those who have loved her throughout her life. And I knew she wouldnt be in pain anymore. No more doctors, no more medicine, no more struggles. On the other hand, the most important person in my entire life, just left my life. I was crushed, destroyed, devistated, numb, empty all of the things you can imagine. I had to move into her house for a short time after she passed, it was just 3 months after my grandfather had passed. My grandmothers room, became my room while I was there. I stayed in that room for about 3 months. Literally, I hardly left my room. I quit my job, I couldnt function.

I am sharing my story with you because losing a loved one is NEVER easy. It's always hard, and every person handles it differently. Any time you want to post your thoughts or feelings, I will listen. And although there is nothing you can do for her, you can love her, let her know how much you love her, visit with her, spend time with her. Family is the most important thing in someones life. So spend her last days with her the best you can. Smile around her, share stories with her. laugh and love.

thank you Mandie, and I plan on spending time with my grandmother as much as possible. It's just so hard to see her sick all the time. The same thing happened with my grandfather from last November to last month. He was always sick, though sadly I didn't visit him much, the last time I saw him awake and talked with him was in December of last year. That's something I really regret now.

Just hoping for as much time with her as possible, I guess at this point that is all I can really ask for.

laugh and love. thats all she wants right now anyway im sure. just to be with her loved ones. if she is anything like my granny, she wont want you all (your family) to be sad and depressed. Remember the happy things. Thats what she would want im sure.

I'm definitely trying Mandie, thanks again

I am so sorry Pete! I know we talked about you losing your grandfather recently and how hard that is but now it must be even harder. I wish I knew how to help you. If you wanna talk I'm here. Andmandie your story was so touching that it made me cry.

Thanks Niki

Today has been extremely hard for me. My grandmother has been a HUGE influence on me my whole life, my favorite TV show and favorite Genre of music are thanks to her introducing them to me. Survivor and Country Music. I cannot imagine watching Survivor without talking to her about it, and also telling her about the latest news regarding country music.

My grandfather today told me when he drove me to work that once we lose her he's going to be lost, he doesn't know what he is going to do. He lost his twin brother last year who, along my grandmother, are the two most important people to him. I'm scared of what is going to happen with him after as well.

Though after we talked about my grandmother, me and my grandfather shared stories about sighting different wildlife and close calls with skunks, it was nice to be able to spend a little time with him, its been a while since I've been able to.

Just got home from work, and gotta be back there at 8am. I am exhausted but can't sleep, don't know how I'm gonna make it through an 8 hour shift tomorrow with so little sleep Hopefully I can make it though