SSC: Episode 2: "Attack of the Crazies"

What you are about to read is merely a fictional representation of what is going on during the voters-choice elimination game Survivor: Second Chance. It conatins foul language, is sometimes crude, contains sexual innuendo and is a caricature at best of the characters these people became on a reality show. They are often exaggerated or not at all like their real life persona. While I mean no true disrespect to any players or any readers of any age, gender, race, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, disability, or the like, I fully intend to indulge in some less-than-PC poking at each and every characteristic that might set these people apart. If they were boring on the show, I may completely reinvent them entirely. If you are easily offended, you may not want to read or participate. Otherwise I encourage you to paint any picture you like of any of these people throughout the tenure of the game. At any chance I can I will try to incorporate the things you say during TC rounds into the story to paint a picture of what is playing out. Why not? Anyway, my point is, I'm attempting to entertain myself by entertaining all of you. Hope you enjoy and again, hope you don't get too offended. lulz.


For those of you who have been following along already, from now on, posting, in regards to the game, will be conducted in it's own topic, sans commentary. Episodes and story-telling portion of the game will be done in a separate topic, as it has been done here. I will attempt to update the forum with a new episode at the end of each tribal council round to add fodder and life to your selections.



Previously on Survivor Second Chance...

52 former Survivor castaways who've only played once were given a second chance to compete.

In the first twist of the game, Jeff informed the players that there was only room for 5 tribes of 10 and thus two players would be eliminated right from the start...


Kelly Goldsmith: I just want to let the viewers know that if you choose me, I will personally stab Lex through the heart, cut out his intestines, and feed them to my dog

Chicken Morris: I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT ALL OF THESE WHIPPER-SNAPPERS CAN KISS MY FARMER'S TANNED ASS. I DON'T CARE WHICH TRIBE I GO TO 'CAUSE I KNOW THEY JUST AIN'T GONNA LIKE ME AND I AIN'T GONNA HELP WITH BUILDING NO DAMN SHELTER NEITHER

Bruce Kanegai: (heard from the jungle) OHH ohh OHHH! OOOHH! It buuuuuurns!

One by one each player was chosen for tribes...


Probst: Bruce Kanegai, and Chicken Morris, I'm sorry but both of you will not be returning for your second chance at Survivor.

Chicken Morris: GOOD! I didn't want to play your stupid pansy-ass game anyway!

And apparently Bruce died from an overdose of Activia...


Bruce Kanegai: I have been eating lots of Activia in preparation for this season. I know I will do very well this time.

Russell Swan: Homeboy's not lookin so good. I think he may be dead!

Probst: Ha! Survivor Second Chance and we have our first death! I love statistics, don't you?

Once Bruce's corpse was removed from the island...


Probst: Ulong, Fang, Foa Foa, Maraamu, and Pagong! Congratulations! You've survived the first of many eliminations to come. Good luck on your second quest for the million and remember, the viewers are watching so keep them entertained and maybe you'll outlast the rest to win the title of Ultimate Survivor of Survivor Second Chance!

At Pagong...



Phillip Shepard: I'm on a tribe with a bunch of girls, a nerd, a pyro and a rapist. I'll have control over this tribe in no time

Gina Crews: I'm not thrilled to be on the tribe known for being picked off one by one, but at least I'm not on Maraamu.

Things were tense at Foa Foa...



Kelly B.: Oh holy sweet hell. Mother of god, what did I do to deserve to end up on a tribe with NaOnka again? No, seiously, why?

NaOnka Mixon: Bitch is right to be scared. Imma beat her with that damn leg and laugh about it

Michelle Yi: My plan to is just to lay low and let these idiots take each other out.

Some familiar faces over at Maraamu...



Neleh Dennis: Woot! Pappity-pap-paps! Looks like it's you and me together again!

Paschal English: That's nice dear, but I am minutes away from a heart attack.

Sarah Jones: Are you freaking kidding me? Paschaleh is on my tribe? That's like, so unfair! I can see where this is going...

And some new rivalries...


Heidi Strobel: This tribe is ripe with men to seduce.

Brandon Hantz: I saw the way that jezebel, Heidi was looking at me. Doesn't she know I'm a married man with a clear desire to hump her?

At the immunity challenge the players were informed they's actually be cometing for emmunity...


Probst: Immunity IS up for grabs. Except, screw this tribal idol crap. Instead, for immunity, this is what you seek:






Probst: My Emmy. As I was saying, EMMunity IS up for grabs. If your tribe wins emmunity, you are safe from Tribal Council and cannot be eliminated from the game. For today's emmunity challenge, you will be breathing fire. Observe.


Probst: Simple, right? The first two tribes who figure out how to do it will win immunity.

Ulong is out to an early lead thanks mostly to Rafe...


Rafe Judkins: Due to the combination of being both a fire crotch and a flamer, I can actually ignite my own skin on fire, just like the Human Torch!



FLAME ON!


Jan Gentry: *Berp--vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!*

Probst: FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SURVIVOR HISTORY, ULONG WINS IMMUNITY!!!

Despite Christa's efforts...


Christa Hastie: (nasally) I brought a little fire water on this excursion with me. All we need is some fire...

Heidi was thoroughly distracting...


Heidi Strobel: Boobies in your face! Boobies in your face! *giggles*

which caught the attention of Neleh and Paschal...


Neleh Dennis: Oh my heck Paschal! Do you SEE what a dirty slut Heidi is being?

Paschal English: Shameful.

Foa Foa was able to use this distraction, to their advantage...


NaOnka Mixon: I got this.

NaOnka kicks up som dust in Probst's eyes, then goes and gives Christa a beat-down, and steals her booze.


NaOnka Mixon: Quick, Jane! Do it!

Jane take the chewing gum and hearing aid and then turns and looks directly at the sun. Her eyes begin to glow, dark clouds gather above, and lightning strikes Jane where she stands. While Jane is being electrocuted, NaOnka takes a big swig of Christa's booze and spits. In a cataclysmic explosion of flame, Foa Foa snags immunity.


Probst: FOA FOA WINS IMMUNITY!!!

Which meant that Fang, Maraamu, and Pagong would be attending council...but Probst had another twist up his sleeve...


Probst: In addition to winning immunity, you WILL be granting safety to one player on EACH of the LOSING tribes to go to EXILE. These players WILL NOT return until later in the game, when your 5 tribes merge into 4. But that is for later. Ulong, and Foa Foa, who will you be sending?

Kelly Bruno: I'd like to send Chad from Fang to exile.

Erik Cardona: I'd like to save Gina on Pagong

Gina Crews: *swoon*

NaOnka Mixon: Imma send Christa. It's the least I can do for that beat down I gave her

Chad Crittendon, Christa Hastie, Gina Crews: BYE EVERYONE! SEE YOU ALL LATER



disappointed to be attending council, Jenny targeted Jessie for flirting with Matt...


Jessie Camacho: Matt! I want to stare at your body.

Matt Elrod: Ok!

Jenny Guzon-Bae: That bitch has got to go.

and once Matt spilled the beans...


Matt Elrod: It's not like Jenny wants to vote you out or anything.

Jessie Camacho: Guh! That bitch

Jessie swayed Russell into coercing the rest of the tribe to vote out Jenny...


Jessie Camacho: who would you rather go all the way with? Me or her?

Russell Swan: You. Obvs.

Which made him get a bit too agressive with the rest of his tribemates...


Russell Swan: Are you with me or are you against me, Marcus?

Marcus Lehman: I'm against you Russell.

Jeff Varner: Russell, where is this coming from?

Russell Swan: Idk y'all. I'm feelin' woozy...

And at Tribal Council...


Jenny Guzon-Bae: Jessie, your laziness around camp has not left a good first impression on me

Jessie Camacho: I'm voting for Jenny because I heard rumors that she is voting for me and I don't think it's fair. I just hope the alliance I formed just before Council sticks to the plan

Marcus Lehman: I'm voting RUSSELL, He thinks he is in charge here but it is all me

in the end it was Russell's time to go...


Probst: That's 2 votes Jessie, 3 votes Jenny and 4 votes Russell. That means Russell, you need to bring me your torch.

Russell Swan: Aw man. Ain't that a bitch.



After Heidi's display at the immunity challenge Neleh and Paschal hatched a plan...


Neleh Dennis: Pappy, I think this is our chance to get rid of Heidi. There is strength in numbers and we have a Marquesan advantage here we'd be fools not to take advantage of.

Paschal English: I think you're onto something, Neleh. I'll hobble on down to the beach and have a chat with Cleopatra.

And after he finally got there...


Paschal English: Sarah, I just want you to know that I think your breasts are the perkiest most perfect breasts I've ever seen. And I'm 135.

He had he runder his spell...


Paschal English: Vote for Heidi tonight.

Sarah Jones: Ok!

And sure enough at council, despite Brandon's outburst and Heidi's best efforts...


Brandon Hantz: I want you all to know I'm voting for Heidi tonight

Brendan Synnott: My vote is for Brandon, he is just way too much of a loose cannon, can't have that around

Heidi Strobel: My vote is for Neleh. You know we need to seperate her and Pappy

Elisabeth Filarski: SARAH, you don't seem to want to be a part of this tribe. Plus, its a little Marquesas heavy


not even Elisabeth's perkiness could stop the former Marquesan's from taking control...


Neleh Dennis: HEIDI, oh my heck!!

Paschal English: Heidi, gotta stick with sweet Neleh, therefore you gotta go

Sarah Jones: Sorry HEIDI. This tribe is only big enough for one perfect pair of breasts. Muah

Probst: That's 1 vote Brandon, 1 vote Sarah, 2 votes Neleh and 5 votes Heidi. That means Heidi, you need to bring me your torch.

Heidi Strobel: One last boobie shot before I go?

At Pagong, Leslie wasn't fitting in with the tribe...


Leslie Nease: I noticed one of your tattoos during the challenge and I just wanted to let you know it offends me.

Angie Jakusz: *sobs*

which prompted Jaime to form an alliance between her, Angie, and Kenny...


Jaime Dugan: I don't see a future with Leslie in this game, Angie. But I think you and I could go far. What do you think? You me and Kenny? Final 3?

Kenny Hoang: I think we should take advantage of that and take out Leslie before they become all buddy-buddy again

Christine Shields-Markoski: If you ask me, it's you we need to worry about. You're the mastermind around here. I can tell you that because you're only a temporary player

Leslie thought she might be saved at Council thanks to a fight between Phillip and Mike...


Phillip Shepard: You double-scooped! Skupin was the scooper! SKUPIN WAS THE SCOOPER!

Mike Skupin: What? That's ridiculous--

Leslie: Nease: Hopefully his outburst gets me past this Tribal Council

but at Tribal Council...


Mike Skupin: I'm voting for PHILLIP. He's a loose cannon

Christine Shields-Markoski: I'm gonna vote Kenny... he was too much of a mastermind and makes me nervous.

Phillip Shepard: I'm voting for Lesby. I mean Leslye. I'm sorry, I have dry mouth. I take medicine for it. Leslie

Leslie Nease: I'm voting for the womaniser Ted...

Angie, Kenny and Jaime stuck together...


Angie Jakusz: LESLIE and I had a spat over my tats. She doesn't understand me.

Jaime Dugan: You're crazy, LESLIE

Kenny Hoang: LESLIE, You're not as hot as Jaime and that's why I'm sticking with her

sending Leslie to Loser's Lounge...


Probst: That's 1 vote Phillip, 1 vote Kenny, 2 votes Ted, and 5 votes Leslie. That means Leslie, you need to bring me your torch.

Leslie Nease: I can't believe Jaime betrayed me. That totally offends me!

Players Exiled this episode:



Players eliminated this episode:



WHO WILL BE VOTED OUT TONIGHT????

Pagong returns from Tribal Council...


Tina Scheer: It was hard to see Leslie go. I know what it's like to not fit in and I considered her a friend. On the bright side, I survived my first Tribal Council! This is a new record for me!

Ted Williams Jr. Did you sleep well last night, Tina? I know, I did...

Tina Scheer: *shudders*

Phillip Shepard: Skupin! I know you voted for me. WTF?

Mike Skupin: Yeah I voted for you Phillip. You're completely off your rocker, man. I don't think you're stable and after the way you accused me of double dipping the rice, I thought you deserved it. And, frankly, if you are going to continue on with your tirades and outbursts, I would be happy to do it again!

Phillip Shepard: Skupin! You double-scooped! And I will call you out every time, brotha.

Mike Skupin: Oh give me a break, Phillip. That's just a flat-out lie. You simply made a pun out of my last name.

Phillip Shepard: Is this feather in my hand a lie?

Mike Skupin: No, Phillip, that's a real feather.

Phillip Shepard: I shall wear it proudly. My Native American ancestors would want me to.

Mike Skupin: You do that.





Fang returns from council after voting out Russell:


Kelly Goldsmith: In the end Jeff, Marcus Flicka and I stuck together and took out Russell. I feel like the tribe is calmer already.

Marcus Lehman: I agree. Dude came at me and I'm not into that. I only let gay dudes fawn over me.

Jeff Varner: Hot damn that Marucs is hot.

Marcus Lehman: Come closer Jeff. Hold me.

Shane Powers: I thought everyone was voting out Jenny. What the hell happened? Aw fuck. AND I'm out of cigarettes. This isn't going to be pretty...

Jenny Guzon-Bae: Ugh. Matt! What happened?

Matt Elrod: I dunno, Jenny. I did what you said. I voted Jessie like you wanted.

Jenny Guzon-Bae: Guh! And yet that fake bitch, Jessie remains.

Matt Elrod: Yunno Jenny, you two kinda have a lot in common. It might be better for all of us if we put this petty squabble aside and work together.

Jenny Guzon-Bae: Guh! As if.

Shane Powers: I need a cigarette. I really need a cigarette.

Jessie Camacho: Shane, are you ok?

Shane Powers: I'm fine. You're fine. We're all fine. I mean, it's not like anyone is going around telling lies, making everyone else look bad. No, that's not happening at all.

Jessie Camacho: What are you talking about?

Shane Powers: Go ahead and play dumb, Jessie. I know you think I'm dumb, Jessie. But I'm not dumb Jessie.

Jessie Camacho: I never said you were dumb, I--

Shane Powers: Aye-aye-aye Jessie, your lies are too much to take. You thrust your boobs and your mole in my face and tell me everyone is voting Jenny and low and behold it's Russell who goes.

Jessie Camacho: I'm just as disappointed as you to see Russell gone, Shane.

Shane Powers: LIES! You set me up! You all set me up! Oh it's all quite clear now. Quite clear. Nobody makes a fool of Shane Powers except Shane Powers! Nobody! *maniacal laughter*

Maraamu returns from Tribal Council after voting out Heidi...




Brandon Hantz: Thank you good lord for watching over me. Your glory has saved me from the evils of temptation. For now...

Sarah Jones: I'm glad that slutty bitch is gone. Now I can flash the gorgeous titties I rightly paid for.

Brandon Hantz: Jezebel!

Neleh Dennis: Yaaay! Pappy! We did it! We took out that dirty whore Heidi and kept our Marquesan advantage!

Paschal English: I'm so pleased. Clearly the viewers wish only the best for us.

Neleh Dennis: The viewers have excellent taste!

Paschal English: Kiss-ass.

Neleh Dennis: Now to go after Joe. I can't believe he voted for me!
*wakes up as if from a spell*
Joe Dowdle: What?!? Where am I? How did I get here? Oh good lord. What have I done?



Foa Foa wakes up after a relaxing night...


Colleen Haskell: Isn't it great that we didn't have to go to Council last night, Greg?

Greg Buis: For sure. You may actually get to uphold your image as a sweetheart!

Colleen Haskell: Which reminds me. You need to be a little nuttier. You don't want the viewers to get bored.

Greg Buis: Does this coconut bra I fashioned this morning make me look fat?

Colleen Haskell: Yes. Lulz.

John Kenney: I wish I had my mechanical bull to ride. I'm getting a little stir-crazy out here.

Michelle Yi: So do I. There's no way that wouldn't be hot to watch.

John Kenney: Maybe you can be my bull, Michelle.

Michelle Yi: *faints*



Meanwhile at Ulong...


Ashley Massaro: I thought for sure that Ulong would be a doomed tribe. I am so stoked that we finally broke the curse. That's so badass.

Rafe Judkins: Me too! I just hope you all remember who really won it for us. Without my human-torch like super powers, we probably would be doomed. I mean, Boo certainly wasn't any help.

Ryan Shoulders: No he wasn't. He's so accident prone!

Boo Bernis: This make Boo sad.

Rafe Judkins: Ryan is right. But it was pretty much just me and Jan when you think about it.

Jan Gentry: *Hic* Yup.

Cindy Hall: Jesus H. Christ, when did Rafe get so arrogant.

Lindsey Richter: For real...

Boo Bernis: Boo just hope we continue winning streak...

TREEMAIL:

It's time for your second emmunity challenge! You should have seen this coming, and yet it remaind a puzzle....


Probst: Come on in tribes!








Probst: Ulong and Foa Foa getting a look at the new Fang, Maraamu and Pagong tribes. Russell, Heidi, and Leslie were voted out of each tribe respectively.

Erik Cardona: Woah. Only original Samoan left now...

Christy Smith: Meh, Heidi was a slut.

Probst: Ulong and Foa Foa, I'll take back emmunity. Emmunity IS NOW up for grabs.






Probst: For today's challenge you will be working in pairs to collect puzzle pieces scattered throughout Immunity Challenge Beach. Here's the catch. You will be blindfolded. Of the 4 pairs, 1 pair will not be collecting puzzle pieces, but rather 1 will be working to guide the blind and 1 will work to solve the puzzle once the pieces have been returned. Ulong and Foa Foa, you each have two extra members. Who do you want to sit out?

Dolly Neely and Ian Rosenberger: We're sitting out for Ulong, Probst.

Kelly Bruno and Michelle Yi: We're sitting out for Foa Foa.

Probst: Alight Dolly, Ian, Kelly B. and Michelle are sitting out. For Ulong we have Jan as the caller and Ryan on the puzzle. For Fang we have Flicka as the caller, and Jenny on the puzzle. For Foa Foa we have NaOnka as the caller and Christy on the puzzle. For Maraamu we have Ghandia as the caller and Paschal on the puzzle. For Pagong we have Phillip as the caller and Kenny on the puzzle. For Emmunity! Survivors Ready? Go!



Foa Foa gets off to a good lead as NaOnka is the only voice that can be heard...


NaOnka Mixon: JANE AND COLLEEN! TO THE LEFT JANE AND COLLEEN! TO THE LEFT!!! JOHN AND GREG, TAKE 4 STEPS RIGHT AND 10 STEPS FORWARD!

Jane Bright: Yee-haw! Ah found mah pieces, y'all!

John Kenney: Your directions are perfect Nay! I got my pieces too!

NaOnka Mixon: ERIK AND JASON! YOUR PIECES ARE UP IN A TREE! YOUR THREE STEPS IN FRONT OF IT!

Jason Siska: We were made for this. Got em!

NaOnka Mixon: ALL YOU SEXY BEASTS FOLLOW MY VOICE WITH YO PIECES! CHRISTY! HURRY! SOLVE THE PUZZLE!

Christy Smith: What?

NaOnka Mixon: READ MY LIPS FOOL! SOLVE THAT DAMN PUZZLE!~

Christy Smith: Oh. Puzzle. Right. Done.

Probst: FOA FOA WINS IMMUNITY!!!



Jan is trying her best to bark out orders...


Jan Gentry: Eric and Ashley! Straight ahead *hic* and past the two trees. Wait, maybe there's only one tree. I'm so drunk!

Erik Cardona: Ashley, reach around on the ground. Do you feel the pieces?

Ashley Massaro: Got em!

Ryan Shoulders: Yes! Great Job guys!

Jan Gentry: Lindsey and Cindy, go up the hill and to your right!

Cindy Hall: Jan! I can't find it. Where is it?

Jan Gentry: Rafe and Boo! Your pieces are just over that log.

Boo Bernis: Oops! Boo trip over log and go boom.

Rafe Judkins: Dammit, Boo! You're so accident prone!

Cindy Hall: Jan! Where's my piece?!?



Boo's trip-up gives Fang an opportunity, but Shane confuses everyone...


Shane Powers: Marcus and Jessie! Touch your toes and then reach for the sky!

Marcus Lehman: Huh? That doesn't make any sense, Shane!

Shane Powers: Jenny and Matt! Do a little dance and then bark like a dog.

Matt Elrod: Arf! Arf! Arf!

Jenny Guzon-Bae: Ugh! Matt! Stop that!

Shane Powers: Jeff and Flicka, go left 10 steps and then right 10 steps!

Jeff Varner: What?!? Shane! That just puts us back where we started! What did he say, Flicka?

Flicka: Marcus I think he said 10 steps forward and then 20 steps backwards!

Jeff Varner: What? DAMMIT FLICKA! That puts us behind where we started!

Flicka: Ooops! Sorry Jeff!

Jeff Varner: Get it together Flicka!!! We're gonna lose this! You're worse than Boo!

Flicka: This make Flicka Cry



All the confusion at Ulong and Fang gives Maraamu a chance to catch up...


Ghandia Johnson: Elisabeth and Neleh! Your piece is over a narrow balance beam. Be careful!

Elisabeth Filarski: Got it Ghandia!

Neleh Dennis: Oh my heck that was easy!

Ghandia Johnson: Joe, the pieces are actually hidden in Sarah's cleavage!

Joe Dowdle: Those clever producers! This could take days! I'm up to the challenge though!

Sarah Jones: Yes, Joe! Yes! Find those pieces! Ohhhh yes!

Joe Dowdle: Is that them? No... Hmm...

Sarah Jones: Oh Joe hahaha, hurry! Wait, slow it down a little.

Ghandia Johnson: JOE! FOCUS!

Joe Dowdle: Got em!

Sarah Jones: Oh Joe

Ghandia Johnson: Brandon and Brendon, your pieces are under a rock. Use that pole and your strength to lift the boulder off your pieces!


Brendan Synnott: Brandon! Put your blindfold back on!

Brandon Hantz: Oh right, sorry bro. Wait, how did you know my blindfold was off?

Brendan Synnott: Got the pieces, Ghandia!

Ghandia Johnson: Good lord you two, hurry back!

Neleh Dennis: Hurry, Pappy! Solve the puzzle!

Paschal English: Done.

Probst: MARAAMU WINS IMMUNITY!!!

- HOORAY!!!!

- Is screaming and laughing with joy...except for Christy


Christy Smith: What happened? Did we win?

Probst: You won, Christy.

Christy Smith: What?

Probst: Never mind. As you know, in addition to winning immunity, you will be granting safety to one player on EACH of the LOSING tribes to go to EXILE. These players WILL NOT return until later in the game, when your 5 tribes merge into 4. But that is for later. Foa Foa and Maraamu, who will you be sending to exile?

NaOnka Mixon: I want to save Kelly G from Fang. I think we both have murdering tendencies.

Kelly Goldsmith: I'd have killed you if you hadn't picked me.

Elisabeth Filarski: I want to save Dolly from Ulong. She's a sweetheart and we both have pigtails.

Dolly Neely: Squee! Sayonara suckers!

Joe Dowdle: I want to save Mike. He is the only fellow medical evacuee besides me left in the game and we deserve our second chances more than anyone!

Mike Skupin: Thank you Joe, and good luck to you!

Probst: Ulong, Fang and Pagong have a date with me at Tribal Council.




Ulong after challenge...


Ashley Massaro: Oh my gosh I can't believe we lost the challenge. That is SO not badass.

Erik Cardona: I agree.

Ryan Shoulders: Grr. This is all Boo's fault. He's so accident prone! I think we need to keep a strong tribe together and clearly you and Erik did really well today!

Erik Cardona: Thanks Ryan. We got lucky though. Jan wasn't much help at all. We just happened to be badass enough to find our pieces without her.

Ashley Massaro: Totally badass. High five!

Erik Cardona: High five, Ash! So yeah, I mean, if I had my druthers, I'd say Jan should go.

Ryan Shoulders: True, Erik. Jan may have been the wrong person to be the caller today but she was pretty invaluable for the first challenge. If she hadn't already been drunk and breathing fumes, we would have lost.

Ashley Massaro: That's right. Boo dropped the bottle. I coulda body-slammed him.

Ryan Shoulders: Exactly, Ashley. And the way his stupid clumsy ass tripped all over that damn log today like a zombie on a treadmill was embarassing. You know he's a lot bigger than Rafe. He goes down over and over again and so does Rafe. Kinda like Joel and Chet in that one Micronesia challenge where everyone got beat to hell.

Ashley Massaro: Ha ha ha. That WAS pretty funny.

Ryan Shoulders: Funny? Yes. Good for the future success of our tribe? No. I can get Jan to do what I say. I'm sure Rafe will gladly vote our way as well.

Erik Cardona: The nerd makes a good point, Ash. I can see the benefits of getting rid of Boo. It makes us all that much more valuable as physical players.

Ashley Massaro: If you say so.

meanwhile, Rafe, Ian, Cndy and Lindsey sit by the fire...


Rafe Judkins: Boo was such a stupid hot mess at the challenge today. I wish I could have just ignited his stupid hick ass on fire and been done with it then.

Cindy Hall: Oh, Rafe, get over yourself.

Rafe Judkins: Kiss my ass, Cindy. You blew your game over a damn car. You know how many cars you could buy with a million dollars?

Cindy Hall: And what car are you driving Mr-I-Gave-It-All-Up-At-Final-3.

Ian Rosenberger: Hey!

Rafe Judkins: At least I got to the Final 3.

Cindy Hall: And that got you what? $10,000? My Pontiac Torrent is worth between $16-24,000. I win.

Lindsey Richter: Burn!

Ian Rosenberger: You're a bitch Cindy.

Rafe Judkins: Whatever Cindy. I'm sure your greedy ass will dig your own hole soon enough. Come on, Ian.

Cindy Hall: Hiss!

Rafe & Ian walk away...


Lindsey Richter: Don't let him bother you Cindy. He may be able to light himself on fire, but it's not like he has an army of howler monkeys at his disposal.

Cindy Hall: Don't give away all my secrets Lindsey...

Lindsey Richter: He may have an army of gerbils up his ass though.

Cindy Hall: Burn!



**Fang after challenge**


Shane Powers: I don't want anyone to talk to me right now. I'm so frustrated that we lost but what could I do? Clearly you were all setting me up to fail. What tribe in their right minds would make ME the caller for such a challenge?

Jenny Guzon-Bae: He's got a point there...

Shane Powers: Shut up! I didn't ask you. Now make your tummy turn into a television. I want to watch Friends.

Jenny Guzon-Bae: I'm not a teletubby, Shane.

Shane Powers: I said I want to watch Friends! Turn your belly on!

Jenny Guzon-Bae: Alight Jessie, listen. I can't believe I'm actually going to take Matt's advice, but I think you and I should set aside our differences for now and deal with the real bizarro in our tribe.

Jessie Camacho: I don't trust you Jenny. But I don't trust Shane either. I think Russell being voted out really shocked and upset him.

Jenny Guzon-Bae: I didn't have anything to do with that. I voted for you obviously.

Jessie Camacho: Well, I doubt anyone would expect us to be working together at this point. Maybe this could work...

Jenny Guzon-Bae: Yeah and if the numbers dwindle enough, you me and Matt could be a powerful force... I don't know. Let's just take it one day at a time.

Jessie Camacho: Fair enough.

Jeff Varner: Grr. I'm so annoyed with Flicka right now.

Marcus Lehman: Play it cool, Jeff. We lost an ally in Kelly when she was exiled by NaOnka. We need Flicka right now.

Jeff Varner: Whatever. I'm over this supposed alliance with Flicka. She's a dumb kid and we're lucky that we haven't won any chickens for her to let loose yet. Mark my words, Marcus, keeping Flicka around too long will be a mistake.

Marcus Lehman: You may be right, Jeff, but frankly I think Shane is the bigger threat to this tribe down the line. The guy has been without cigarettes for 2 days and he's already completely lost his mind and making everyone uncomfortable.

Jeff Varner: Marcus, you're hot and I know you like to show off your shlong, but I think I might just have to do things my way this time.

Marcus Lehman: Do what you need to do Jeff. I think I can get the support to vote out Shane anyway and it may downplay our completely obvious bromance.




Pagong after challenge...


Ted Williams Jr.: I'm never going to survive this tirbe if we keep losing challenges. I need some allies. It's too bad Skupin was exiled. He could have been a vote in my favor.

Phillip Shepard: I'm sorry tribe. I let you all down today. *Sobs*

Jaime Dugan: Aw Phillip. Don't cry. We all have off days.

Phillip Shepard: Thanks Jaime. You're such a breath of sunshine.

Jaime Dugan: I just think you're misunderstood Phillip, and I'm a friend to the misunderstood.

Phillip Shepard: I dunno, I think I blew it today.

Jaime Dugan: Let me see what I can do.

Jaime chats with Kenny and Ashley down at the beach...


Jaime Dugan: Hey guys. So I'm thinking maybe we should keep Phillip around.

Angie Jakusz: Why? The guy's a nutjob and he was mute at the challenge.

Jaime Dugan: He's hurting right now. I think he needs a friend. Surely you guys know what that's like.

Kenny Hoang: Yeah...

Angie Jakusz: True. So what do you suggest?

Jaime Dugan: I think we should vote out Ted. He's creepy and sooner or later he's going to come crawling into our bed, Ang.

Angie Jakusz: *shudders* Ok. I'm down.

Kenny Hoang: Works for me. I can't stand his laugh anyway.

Jaime Dugan: Then it's a plan.

Tina Scheer: Ugh it's like we weren't in the challenge at all today. I don't know what was wrong with Phillip. It's like he's a secret agent, but the secret is he doesn't show up at all.

Christine Shields-Markoski: I agree, Tina. I think that whacko's time has come to an end.

Ted overhears the women talking...


Ted Williams Jr.: I'd be willing to vote for Phillip if you ladies would be willing to keep me around. I swear I'll lay off the raper-vibe.

Tina Scheer: One can only hope.






- TRIBAL COUNCIL -







Probst: Well guys, how about we just get to the votes tonight? Ashley, you're up!

Ashley Massaro: My vote is for BOO. He almost screwed the challenge up for us last time and obviously he wasn't much help this time.

Boo Bernis: Ryan, you had your "second chance" with the outcast twist. Give the rest of us a shot, bro.

Cindy Hall: you voted me out last time for not giving you a car, so I'm voting you out this time. Goodbye RAFE!

Erik Cardona: Boo, this is only room for ONE big hot shot on this tribe... Sorry bro.

Ian Rosenberger: You're an idiot... CINDY!

Jan Gentry: I'm not even sure where I am right now. *tap* *tap* is this thing on? *hic* how do you cure hiccups again? Oh right, scare someone. Hey, Jan? BOO!

Lindsey Richter: Rafe, gotta go with my girl Cindy. So long

Rafe Judkins: For my own protection, BOO

Ryan Shoulders: My alliance from Immunity Challenge one is sticking together. See ya, BOO.

*Probst tallies the votes*



Probst: That's 1 votes Ryan, 1 vote Cindy, 2 votes Rafe, and 5 votes Boo. That means Boo, you need to bring me your torch.

Boo Bernis: This make Boo sad.

Probst: Boo, the tribe has spoken









Probst: Well guys, how about we just get to the votes tonight? Flicka, you're up!

Flicka Smith: That Shane guy, he seems insane. I don't get good vibes and I wanna keep this tribe STRONG! My vote today is for him.

Jeff Varner: My vote is for that dumb bitch Flicka.

Jenny Guzon-Bae: Shane, I feel it is best that you go

Jessie Camacho: Shane, you're unstable and causing paranoia in the tribe.

Marcus Lehman: Shane man... you're creepin all the boys and girls on this tribe out... and I just wanna keep the love and show off my penis. Can't do that with you around!

Matt Elrod: Man, I don't wanna create any waves, so I have to go with the flow and vote SHANE. I think you're way out there man, but I kind of dig it. Too bad everyone has it out for you.

Shane Powers: I have been getting messages from my blackberry coconut that word on the beach is my name is bein thrown around as a vote tonight... I also rec'd a text saying that it was that filthy bitch Flicka who started it... so I'm voting for her


*Probst tallies the votes*


Probst: That's 2 votes Flicka and 5 votes Shane. That means Shane, you need to bring me your torch.

Shane Powers: I plan to get completely wasted in a pity party for 1.


Probst: Shane, the tribe has spoken







Probst: Well guys, how about we just get to the vot--

Phillip Shepard: Bzzt! The feather commands me to call out the tattooed harlot among us.


Angie Jakusz: What the fu--

Phillip Shepard: Silence harlot! It took me until the walk to TC to realize it, but Leslie was right. The tattooed one is NOT to be trusted!!

Angie Jakusz: Phillip, you can kiss my pasty tattooed ass.

Probst: Wow, Phillip. It's like I'm at Council with Brandon Hantz.

Phillip Shepard: Mark my words. The tattooed one will destroy this tribe.

Angie Jakusz: (shocked) *sobs*

Probst: Well, if you're done, Phillip it IS time to vote. Angie, you're up.

Angie Jakusz: I'm all about weirdo's and eccentric characters, but Phillip is a fake and he is just too much out there... and bitch, don't diss my tats! My vote is for Phillip.

Christine Shields-Markoski: gotta vote for Phillip, he is just creepy

Jaime Dugan: I'm Team Phillip, voting for TED!

Kenny Hoang: Ted's laugh annoys me too much... can't stand him being around! TED

Phillip Shepard: The feather has commanded me. TEED. I mean TED. Sorry, dry mouth again.

Ted Williams Jr.: voting for Phillip, he's gotta go

Tina Scheer: I'll keep this short, so I don't get interrupted... PHILLIP!

*Probst tallies the votes*


Probst: That's 3 votes Ted and 4 votes Phillip. That means Phillip, you need to bring me your torch.

Phillip Shepard: And I thought for sure I'd be dragged to the finals for the easy win.

Probst: Phillip, the tribe has spoken





Players Exiled this episode:



Players eliminated this episode:

another good episode!