Probably my last post in here... well, I haven't really used this place to share my thoughts, but may as well start now.
Having Jeremy chose to evict Cam over Michael really screws up my game. I've been in an alliance with Jeremy for the past 3-4 rounds and I stupidly thought he'd be loyal to me till the end. Kinda ironic, coming from me. I can understand why he did it, but it certainly messes up my game. Michael and Jeremy have been allies since day 1, but I honestly thought Jeremy would side with me over him. I STILL dunno why I thought that? Especially after last round when he put me up as a replacement nominee instead of Michael.
I can wholeheartedly blame this whole situation on me fucking up my PoV run... *so bitter*
If I had won, Cam would still be here and I'd be like.. guaranteed final 2, which has been my only goal this entire game. I'm not stupid, I don't think I can actually win this game. I DO think I've played the best game in the house, and I think EVERYONE can agree to that. Sadly, playing the best game normally means you've pissed people off and doesn't mean you win. I'm like... the one person who's legit tried for every competition and participated in like... everything! I just... happen to suck at a lot of challenges, but I can win the ones I need to (praying for the next HoH!)
Funny enough, I don't regret anything I've done. I think I really started playing the week Johnny got evicted. I was in no alliances... not a single one! Nobody wanted me as a partner so I went out and started looking, and approached him. I suspected he was in a dealo with Niki and Stacie but still wanted him since I figured he could get me in with them. I was like.. pretty clear, the divide in the house. Michael, Amanda and Jeremy on one side and Niki, Johnny and Stacie on the other. I hadn;t talked to Cam at this point and figured I wanted to do something. I kinda forget now who was actually nominated... uh.. too lazy to check but I'm pretty sure it was Niki and Johnny? Anyway, I told him I wouldn't vote to evict him and I didn't... go me!
and then he got evicted....
So I approached Niki and was all... let's be friends because she seemed like a cool chick. This is when I started to follow my gut. Cam and I started talking and apparently he always thought we were together so... that's when we started working together. I personally viewed Niki as a much strong competitor than pretty much everyone in the house. Nobody else was really winning things so I set up a final four deal with me, her, Stacie and Cam... but I KNEW Niki would take Stacie over me, if it came down to it... so... I tried my best to get rid of Stacie... and succeeded! I still feel like it was a good move, even though it set our 4 people alliance short against the 3 people alliance we 'should' have gone after.
Anyway, Cam won HoH because he rocks.. and... then we tried to get rid of Amanda... which we did, but during this time I approached Jeremy because I felt out of the three of them, he was the most... laid back? I figured I could get him on my side in case I ever needed him. This is when I set up a final 3 deal with him. After loosing Stacie, Niki didn't win any challenges and... as sad as it sounds, became useless to me as a player. She was super sweet and nice but.. I lied to her and took out her only ally... I'd be stupid to trust she'd still wanna take me to the finals! I still 'worked' with her in case I needed her but.. turns out I didn't.
Anyway, memory is getting lost here... uh.. too lazy to look back (I dunno why I'm even writing this out). Jeremy won HoH... I was really happy that I played friendly with him earlier because of obvious reasons. Figured now was as good as any time to get rid of Niki... and everything was gunna be awesome until Cam won the PoV... He wasn't 'supposed' to? Not in my books, but I can't tell somebody who's nominated NOT to try... So he took himself off the block and Jeremy had the choice of putting me or Michael up... and chose me! (bastard)
I was super nervous because I don't like trusting others not to vote me out. I hoped Cam was still with me but.. I feel like I planted a target on our backs because I was scheming and even though he was winning challenges (more so than me) i felt he may think I was bringing him down... but luckily he stayed true and voted to evict Niki.. while Michael, rightfully so, voted to get rid of me.
I 100% expected Jeremy to get rid of me. he was stupid not to but.. I love the guy for being true to his word. It's rare to find that in a game like this. He kept me and I was on a happy high and won the next HoH.. which, any fan of BB knows is the most useless HoH.... Bah.... anyway...
Here we are... final three... with Michael, someone against me, and Jeremy... the guy who is shakey. I'm not below begging and if Michael win's HoH I will do everything I can to convince him to take me over Jeremy. Perhaps I'm paranoid, but I really think some people in the jury might not like me? What I did to Stacie wasn't exactly nice and I feel like Johnny, Stacie and Niki won't respect it. Plus... with Johnny... I just LOOK bad. I honestly wanted to work with him... but I told him that and he gets evicted... and then I lie and get his ally Stacie out? I dunno... I doubt the guy would vote for me to win.
Jeremy has told me a couple times that he thinks I've played the best game and worked harder than anyone else to get to where I am and he has no issue of stopping me. Of course I'd love to believe him but.. I forget that saying? Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me? I guess it doesn't really matter anymore.
I'm pretty much forced to take him to the finals over Michael because Michael is great friend with everyone and hasn't done a single thing in this house... besides survive.
Jeremy... I stand a better chance...
Anyway, I doubt I'll win HoH.... so.. this is like.. my... final gig?
