MOVE OVER TWILIGHT

Amanda just reminded me to share this story. Or rather I just told it to her and it reminded me to share it.

It's funny that I got these books today because I am so nervous about reading them on the train, because what will people think????

I was on the train today and there was a totally hot guy that sat across from me. He had a very dorky vibe and sensibility (and was totally a gay, the end of this story confirms it) and also kind of dressed and looked just indie enough that it was hot and you could tell he appreciated some good indie culture but wasn't a retarded hipster about it.

And I was staring at him a lot, while he read this gigantic black book. And I was also reading (or staring but holding) a gigantic black book. And I was thinking I should try and start a conversation because we could have been reading the same thing or something and see where it went. And then he shifted in his seat and I saw.

He was reading the last Twilight book. He made it through the first one, and picked up the second, and then kept going to the conclusion. My boner died instantly. And I'm not fucking kidding, in the next 30 seconds he picked his nose and might have eaten it. I was very sad.

I'm afraid someone's going to have that same thing when they see me reading these books on the train. Except about the nose picking. I would hate to think these books are gonna cock block me. But I guess it's the price I play to be entertained by bad literature.

Professor MoMo wrote:

(and was totally a gay, the end of this story confirms it)

I love how Twilight confirms homosexuality

And that's too bad about him. Another one bites the dust.

Oh you KNOW it does. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

This is a very sad story.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't read the book on the train. So I made a book cover. It's purple and I decided to make it into a completely different book. So now when I'm on the train people will think I'm reading "Something A Lot Cooler (and less gay)" by Thomas Pynchon. Don't ask me why I decided he was the author.

Although I put scotch tape all over it to make sure it didn't rip and you can't really read it anymore. I'm fine with that though, now it's more mysterious.

This book...this FUCKING book. Son of a bitch.


I almost put it down as soon as I started because a line on the first page says "My boss was going to be sooo totally pissed at me" Wow. I've never seen that written in a book before and I never want to again. But so far I'm entertained by it. My God is it graphic.

I am almost done with the first book! Just 100 more pages...and I read about 100 a day when I actually read it. So just one more day, HAHA!!!! I will hope to finish it tomorrow. I don't know if I will be able to delve into the second one so soon after the first, I might need a literary break of reading something else. The third book has a release date for the end of the year. Jesus Christ.

FINISHED! The ending was ridiculous. I like can't even believe it. Or the twist that should never have been a twist...meaning it was obvious from the first page.

But now I can start the second one! "Succubi Like It Hot" and I made a cover for that one too. So as far as anyone's concerned I'm reading "Not At All Embarrassing, Why Do You Ask?" by Joan Didion. First Pynchon, now Didion...strangers on the train must think I'm SO literary.

Hahahaha!