MOVE OVER TWILIGHT

SOMETHING WORSE THAN YOU EXISTS!!!!!

It's worse...but it's also a lot better.

I was cruising down the aisles of Daune Reade the other day and I stopped DEAD in my tracks because I saw this...



And all I could think was "Oh Stephani Myers...you have competition for least inspired writer ever."

Let's just take a minute to break this apart.

1) "Succubi Like It Hot" isn't a pun...they think it's a pun...but it isn't a pun...and I just can't stop laughing about that.

2) This is the second book in a series, it was just released, the first book was released in December...and I went to the writer's website...she just finished the 3rd one. Oh...OH...OH the literary gold that must be contained in these pages.

3) The first book is called "Gentlemen Preger Succubi"

When I found that out the second title made a little more sense but still...ridiculous.

4) This series is about a girl who gets bit by a vampire and becomes a succubus and get's approached by a fallen angel whom she accidentally gets in trouble with a vampire queen so she has to go on a quest for her with a vampire bodyguard. Now she's got to chose between the fallen angel (cover of the first book) or the vampire bodyguard (cover of the second book) on who she's going to do repeatedly.

5) This is a review of the first book.

"The cosmology of this battle between good and evil approaches Saturday
morning cartoon levels of unsophistication; the mystery could be solved
by Scooby-Doo; and the big-breasted bombshells and hunky men are
cookie-cutter romance standard, but Myles's debut somehow sustains an
extraordinary, confectionery appeal."

6) Both books are being shipped to my house thanks to Amazon as we speak.

that is hilarious lol

I also am interested, after looking at the covers, in "Kiss Of The Demon King" WHAT THE HELL IS THAT????

This...



Oh....oh it just looks like something you'd find in a 99cents bin at a Borders.

Why, Mo, why?

Oh God. That is all I have to say xD

Other than, boy from book 2 is clearly the obvious choice. Just sayin'

Ew, abs!

Yes Doug, you're SO counter culture, WE GET IT!!!!!


Also Jessie is right about that.

And oh my GOD, how can you not want to read something this bad.....we should make it like sisterhood of the traveling pants where after I read it I send it to one of you and then you send it to someone else. And eventually we all read it and have a good laugh.

Don't you point out my hipsterness. Every time you do so, I'm forced to wear, listen to, watch, read, or say something even hipper than before as a defense mechanism to prove my originality. Soon enough I won't actually know what is hip and what is simply the only thing left on the face of the planet that no one likes.

The answer....Doug's new favorite thing is Carrot Top.

Can I be next once you read them??

Absolutely, I'll let you know when I'm done, HAHA, it might take FOREVER depending on how horrible they are. Or it might take an hour because of how horribly their written, HAHAHA!

Scorching eroticism. Yes please.

Professor MoMo wrote:

The answer....Doug's new favorite thing is Carrot Top.

Oh god, that man makes me want to rip my eyes out.

Especially now that he's all buff and whatnot

Yeah but he makes EVERYONE want to rip their eyes out, universally, so eventually, he'll be your every dream.

Jessie wrote:

Can I be next once you read them??

Professor MoMo wrote:

Absolutely, I'll let you know when I'm done, HAHA, it might take FOREVER depending on how horrible they are. Or it might take an hour because of how horribly their written, HAHAHA!

Dibs after Jessie

Jessie wrote:

Can I be next once you read them??

Professor MoMo wrote:

Absolutely, I'll let you know when I'm done, HAHA, it might take FOREVER depending on how horrible they are. Or it might take an hour because of how horribly their written, HAHAHA!

Dibs after Jessie

HAHAHA!!! I'm glad they're already this popular, HAHA!

Lol what's with the eye roll, Jess?

She's embarrassed by her desire to read them.

Don Douglas wrote:

She's embarrassed by her desire to read them.

Shhhhh!!!

Aren't we all though? I mean, I'm not, I'm the kind of person who had a birthday party centered around watching terrible action movies. The worst one was Victory...simply because it just wasn't bad enough to be entertaining.

I think the worst part though is going to be reading them on the train. Don't try and tell me no one's going to notice because whenever I see someone reading something I always look at what it is because I'm hella nosy. And there are so many times people will just try starting conversations with me because of what I'm reading.

One time, I was reading one of the best books ever, and this girl across from me was too, and we were at the exact same part, and it was very exciting (the book I mean) and so we had discussed first about how much we both liked this particular character and all the stuff surrounding them and then we both read on as he DIED!!!!! It really helped soften the blow to have someone else there. Really.

What was I saying? OH, right, people are going to make fun of me on the train for reading these is the point. That's going to be rough. There will be more than one occasion that I decide to read comics on my phone because I don't want to take the book out and have someone notice, HAHA!!!

Well. They came. I picked them up from the post office just now!

I am now proud(?) to say I am the owner of the worst books ever written (most likely).

First Line: It had obviously been one hell of a night if I couldn't recall why I was waking up in a Dumpster.

Yes, the "D" was capitalized in the book.

Sounds like his night must have succed.