Premier Jitters

Ugh.

So, my cousin wrote, produced and stared in a little indie movie that is going to be premiering in New York on June 5th and I really want to go because I love her and I'm super excited for her and all that kind of junk...

...it's a really long story that I'm not going to get into but no one else in my immediate family is going because her mother is the worst person. No one talks to her anymore so my mom's not going, my aunt's not going, and my grandparents aren't going. But my cousin and her brother, father, mother will be there along with my uncle and his family I'm assuming. And my disgusting aunt as well. Basically everyone in my family that I don't want to talk to is going to be there and instead of being there with my family that I enjoy I'll be there by myself. I'm asking a few friends of mine if any of them can come but I don't know if they will.

So I'm miserable about it, for many reasons, especially because my mom is 'upset' with me that I'm going. She won't say so because I know she is happy that my cousin and I are still on good terms and whatnot but I know she's upset because she said "You know she wouldn't come if it was yours, right?" and she said "I'm going to make sure (my other aunt who isn't going) talks about this with you." because she will talk me out of it and my mom knows that.

So yeah. Tickets went on sale 30 minutes ago and I bought 2. I'm going, or at least I'm telling myself I'm committed to going. But I'm not very happy about it. My cousin and I used to be really really close and nothing happened between us, but stuff happened in the family and then she moved out to LA (and also became kind of cunty...at least I think so) and we haven't really been close at all since then to the point where people in the family thought we had some sort of falling out and we were both like "No...I don't think so at least, why, what did s/he say?" HAHAHA! Not really funny, but it is. And you know, this is an exciting thing, and I think it's shitty that everyone can't be there for her for various reasons (and believe me, they're good reasons) but I feel like I need to be there because I would want her there for me so we can both share in this dream that we both have had since we were kids together. And I feel like if I don't show up it's kind of me saying that I don't care about her and there won't be any coming back from it.

It's just going to be a horrible experience and I'm stressing about it even though it's 2 weeks away so I wanted to rant about it. And I did. So... the end.

Just go and ignore the fact some of your other family is there. Trust me, I know what it's like to have a family that doesn't get along. My dad and his sister put a whole ocean between them after one of their fights, and we weren't allowed to talk to her or her family (cousins who I was close to) for eleven years.

Don't worry about anybody but yourself and your cousin! Are you going for your mom? Her mom? Your other aunt? No! You're going to support her and her career/interests...and that's all that matters

Actions speak louder that words, and I think that would be shown by you going to the premiere.

While I'm not one to budge into others' matters, I'd say just go for it. This is your own life that you're living, and it is not your mother, or your aunt to control. You're going there to celebrate your cousin's merit, not her mother's.

You'll be fine. Take a friend with you, surely you can make someone go with you. id go with ya if I could.

Aw, thanks everyone! I was absolutely going, or at least telling myself I was, I already bought the tickets before I made that post, HAHA! I bought two and I asked my friend to come with me and she said yes so that is goooooood.

I just hate being caught in the middle of things but that's just the way my life is, HAHAHA!! Not just with family, like all of my friends hate each other, it's hysterical. This shit really bums me out though, her mom is the cuntiest and I've never liked her so when other people got on board with the let's hate her train I was like "FINALLY!!!!" and my cousin started that train which was the sad thing that got everyone on board (it's a very long story) but now she's off the train and everyone else is just like "Um...wtf?" so yeah, it's going to be really annoying. But thanks you guys, I'm glad to hear that you all would make the same decision, that makes me feel better.