I have no skills.

So, I was talking to my roommate's boyfriend today about our lives, and he politely pointed out that I retained no skills from my childhood.

As a child, I took 11 years of girl guides, 10 years of gymnastics, 7 years of swimming lessons, 5 years of skating lessons, 4 years of flute lessons, 3 years of karate and art, and 2 years of soccer, cooking, and horseback riding.

Yet I don't know how to camp, I have no cool gymnastics moves, I can barely swim, I can only skate backwards, I suck at the flute, I can't fight, I'm horrible at drawing, I don't know how to play soccer, I lit butter on fire once, and I can't ride horses.

I hope you all have at least one fun skill! Share?

you have the skill of not wanting to meet me.

ahahaha, I'm a busy girl!

What a weird skill Jess has there.


ALSO, I have the skill to pick things up with my feet. It's really useful when you don't like to bend, which I don't. I had a whole conversation about that the other day. I have bending.

Yeah, but all the skills you pointed out aren't exactly useful when it comes to getting a normal person job. That's probably why you didn't retain them. Horseback riding? Playing the flute? What're you going to school for? Equestrian symphonics? Probably not. I think most of us are in the same boat.

Besides, have you forgotten how to swim? Can you watch gymnastics, ice skating, and riding and know what's going on? I mean, unless you've completely forgotten everything, you've still retained something. I wouldn't worry about it. Besides, you can eat an entire tablespoon of cinnamon without puking. That's about as useful as being able to draw in most situations.

And because you opened the door:

I took probably 10 years of swimming, 5 years of basketball, 1 year of soccer, 3 years of clarinet, 2 years of bassoon, 5 combined years of Spanish (though equal to only about three with re-covered material), and that's probably it. Never played any other sports, wasn't allowed to take karate, wasn't allowed to be a boy scout (which is probably for the better, since I'm not allowed to be a boyscout)... I guess I technically took four years of art in high school, and I took a couple cooking "classes." Also, does taking three years of weight-training count for anything?

Something to add to the list, which I didn't think of until Doug's post: 12 years of French, yet I can barely speak it

12 years and you can't speak it?????

What have you been doing up there in Canada? Twiddling your thumbs??

Apparently!

Ages 4-6: French class once a week
Ages 7-8: French class twice a week
Ages 9-13: French class three times a week
Ages 14-16: French class five times a week

Yet I can't speak it. I can understand it pretty well, but I FAIL at speaking/writing.

I'm pretty sure the only skill I have is reciting the alphabet in ancient Biblical Hebrew.

I'm not sure you understand the definition of "skill."

It's totally a skill I can spell like the ancient Israelites. I should put that on my resume.

I took 10 years of tap dance lessons, 9 years of Jazz, 7 years of Drill team and 1 year of Ballet. I can still tap dance? its like riding a bike, you never really forget how lol

Having a big dick isn't so much a skill as it is a gift, but....

It's what you do with said large member that's a skill

I love that DJ. Thanks.

Oh, so you don't ask HIM to prove it...

He's not pretending to be a panda!!!!!!!!

djqwiksilver wrote:

Having a big dick isn't so much a skill as it is a gift, but....

That takes big balls to say something like that!

Professor MoMo wrote:

He's not pretending to be a panda!!!!!!!!

I LOVE PANDAS!!

I had a dream last week that I was walking through this field with HUNDREDS of pandas, so I picked up a baby one and cuddled with it and it was so nice so I tried taking it home, but some mean people wouldn't let me

Oh jeez...so there goes that...

I feel I should probably stop voicing my love for various things. Thoughts, feelings, concerns?

Well, voicing is okay...I just worry that now we're going to get an onslaught of pandas eating bananas posts

you wouldn't be Jess if you didnt voice your thoughts.

we love you

Very true! Very, very true!