Being a Texan - I thought this was funny

On Being from Texas...

When you're from Texas, people that you meet ask you questions like,

"Do you have any cows?" "Do you have horses?"

"Bet you got a bunch of guns, eh?"

They all want to know if you've been to Southfork.

They watched Dallas.

Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me just
for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast, and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it is. It's Texas.

Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a

picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll know what it is.

What happens if I show you a picture of any other state?

You'll get it maybe after a second, but who else would?

Even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?

In every man, woman and child on this little rock the

Good Lord put us on, there is a person who wishes just once

he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride in a pickup.

There is some bit of Texas in everyone.

Did you ever hear anyone in a bar go,

"Wow...so you're from Iowa?

Cool, tell me about it?" Do you know why?

Because there's no place like Texas.

Texas is the Alamo. Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing
thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for the cause of freedom.

We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and

James Bowie and David Crockett and do you know why?

Because those men saw a line in the sand and they

decided to cross it and be heroes.

John Wayne paid to do the movie himself.

That is the Spirit of Texas.

Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Ana at San Jacinto.


Texas is Juneteenth and Texas Independence Day.


Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods like the

Davy Crockett National Forest.


Texas is breathtaking mountains in Big Bend.


Texas is shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas.


Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork.


Texas is Mexican food like nowhere in the world, even Mexico.


Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards and the Bass Hall.


Texas is larger-than-life legends like Willie Nelson and Buddy Holly,
Earl Campbell and Nolan Ryan, Denton Cooley and Michael DeBakey, Sam Rayburn, George Bush, and George W. Bush.


Texas is great companies like Dell Computer and Compaq.


Texas is huge herds of cattle and miles of crops.


Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and
prairies, and modern cities.


WHEN WE CAME ON...

Texas was its own country. The Republic of Texas.

Every time I think of that I tear up.

It makes you proud to be a Texan!






If you are a REAL TEXAN, ...


1. You measure distance in minutes.


2. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.


3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.


4. Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.


5. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in
it no matter what time of the year.


6. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin' to go to the store.


7. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, flower, or animal.


8. You install security lights on your house and

garage and leave both unlocked.


9. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.


10. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe-hunting" are.


11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.


12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.


13. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.


14. The local papers covers national and international news on one page
but requires 6 pages for football and hockey.


15. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
16. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.


17. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm,"


18. You know all four seasons:

Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.


19. You know whether another Texan is from southern, middle, or
northern Texas as soon as they open their mouth.


20. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with

a population of 500 or more.


21. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known

as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World"


22. You describe the first cool snap

(below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.


23. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.


24. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends no
matter where they live in case they are planning to visit.

A wise man once said, "Never ask a man where he's from;

if he's from Texas, he WILL tell you.





I put some in blue that I thought were funny/important/true.

vastfanatic wrote:

Did you ever hear anyone in a bar go,

"Wow...so you're from Iowa?

Cool, tell me about it?"

Hahaha. That's true, Texas is a pretty cool place that I've always wanted to visit. No one cares about random states!

lol, thats funny - some of these were so true.

I dunno, I'm pretty okay with Ohio, personally.