Thanks for the respect and honesty, Amanda. I guess that's all I wanted from people. I'm not an idiot, I don't expect to win this game by convincing you all I played the BEST possible game that has ever been done. Certainly not. I lied and backstabbed... So, as you were kind enough to mention, I could have played it being sweet and kind. Clearly I'll have to next time because as Michael said (and looking at another game currently going on) I've made a bit of a name for myself, and I don't particularly like it.
You guys don't know me... at all. I don't know you... at all. You all seem very nice, so, I got not issue befriending anyone here. Since we're being all honest here, or at least I am, I'll admit to judging you all based on what I've seen in other games. Since I don't know the first thing about any of you and only have Mafia games to go off of. You don't need to be a genius to see how the rooms/alliances were divided in the house. I guess, just being so new, I wanted to make a statement. I've played in two Mafias games before this one. One, I was totally stupid and didn't see who the OBVIOUS killer was (grrrrrr....) and in the other, I was smart enough to figure it out, even if nobody else agreed with me. I don't wanna be known as the stupid person, so once I saw that the alliances were built off into the different cliches around the site, something I didn't really feel part of, I knew I had to do SOMETHING... to untaint my name as a... newbie/stupid girl.
None of you guys wanted to be in an alliance with me... either because you saw me as useless (likely) or just didn't care. Maybe if somebody had WANTED to befriend me at the beginning, I could have played a nice game. It's not that I took it as an insult or something, but I saw just from the beginning that I was an outcast and we all know unless they do something, outcasts tend to get nominated and voted out easily. In the second week, I was nominated. Sure, it was because Cam was my partner and he was inactive.. It's a great reason... but still, I saw myself as being up because I was dead weight. So... obviously me, being my regular sweet and kind self... wasn't getting me anywhere in the house. IRL I'm like.. a rather.. I dunno wanna say submissive person, because that ust sounds wrong, but I'm very 'go with the flow'. Normally, I just do what other people want me to do and never really speak up. I dunno, it's just how I am. I noticed, at this point in the game, that wasn't going to work for me. Based on... basically being new and being labelled as an outcast, I chose to make the decision to play the game I did.
Amanda, you have MUCH more gaming experience than me so I'm sure you could have been able to make it to the end, playing a cleaner game, I really am. I couldn't. I tried and got nominated. I've been screwed over in other games by not following my gut and just going with the flow and once I saw a repeat of the same thing, I wasn't going to let myself go down again. I like, flipped a switch. It was at this point when I appraoched Johnny and... you can rewad in other posts how my gameplay went on from them.
Just, judging from what you said, I don't expect your vote at all. I mean, it looks very clear that you're voting for your buddy. That's all fine, but don't come in here and tell me that I didn't need to play the game I did. As guilty as I felt lying to people, it was the only option left to me. The people who didn't come into this house with a pre-existing alliance were targeted first. It was because they were inactive and although I saw the logical of it (even agreed with it) the point remains that these were also the people who... didn't have anything going for them. Mono, had no alliance and as out first. Donna, had no alliance and was booted out second. Cam, who up until this point was in-active, was nominated and I was his partner, meaning it was my butt on the line too... and I WAS active.
I KNOW being new was going to hurt my game... there was no way being being new and sweet would have gotten me to where I am today. If I was sweet and with Niki and Stacie... they would have gotten me out before they took out each other. I was expendable. If I had approached you instead, I figure I would have been in the same situation. So... I had to be the bitch and take out the shot of that happening.
Anyway, I'm done with this rant. Sad to see that I've been typecast but... I did what I had to do to insure I got to where I wanted to me. I don't expect your vote since... you're voting for your friend... but... at least take my honestly over this entire situation and see how ths WAS the only way to get where were i wanted to be.
No hard feelings, everyone
And... just to leave us all with something from somebody I think most of us enjoyed (I'm too lazy to see if yas actually liked him on your survey but.. meh) A quote... or semi-quote the "Great Dan".. who came onto BB Canada this week and said something very similar (too lazy to search for the actual quote) "You can't win and stay friends with everyone."
But truthfully, which isn't fair to any of you, my heart wasn't here and my head hasn't been here for months and months. I think everyone did a great job and I was especially happy to see that my guys were able to carry on without me until the end of this game. .... Just a few more quick notes stick with me here.....To Shanna and Johnny. I personally love to see new people around the board and I usually do, befriend the newb's because I know how hard it can be to jump into a community and start making friends, alliances and feeling apart of things. I want you both to feel comfortable here and feel free to join in any of the games that may be taking place here. I am glad you both are here and even though I may not know how you stumbled upon our little community, I'm glad you are both apart of it. 
