So I was just walking in my leather flip-flops

and I realized that one of them felt sticky, and I was like "Ewgross, what in the world is on my flip-flop?" So I looked down, and my toes was bleeding like a mofo.

I have no idea how this happened, but seeing all the blood on my flip-flop made me a little sick, so I had to sit down and take a deep breath.

Someone please tell me what I did to deserve this ailment!!

BLOOD TOES!!!!!!!!

That's horrible and gross. I agree.

Blood shouldn't be anywhere but in my veins.

That's a good rule in general.

I dunno how women do it.



(OMG NO...NO...NOOO HE WENT THERE)

I can't wait until every girl I know goes through menopause.

Well it's true.

Do you ever get this, just because you're gay, it's okay for them to talk about their period too much because you were never going to visit the real estate up close anyway so it's okay to be disgusted by it?

Because I hate that shit.

YES ALL THE F***ING TIME.

Like, need I remind you I'm a guy...who likes guys...which means I don't want to hear about your vagina EVER.

Because it's the grossest fucking thing on the planet.

Too true. But they let me feel their boobs a lot. Which is fun.

I'm not gonna lie, that is fun, mostly because they do it in front of straight boys that get really envious. I like being envied.

No. I do not like touching girl boobs. Man boobs...maybe. But girl boobs? No.

In college I was in this STUPID play and there was this girl in it who EVERYONE wanted to fuck, and like HARD, and they all got to eventually (everybody in this case only meant 3 people, the 3 straight guys, and they all really did, she was a slut) but at the time of the play she wasn't giving it up to any of them and they just had like CONSTANT boners and so one day the 5 of us were backstage and she realized she needed to change really quick but didn't have her bra on, so the three guys were like "Oh, Megan, come on, it's okay, you can just do it!" and so she turned to me and was like "Can you put your hands under my shirt and hold my boobs so they can't see them while I change?" and I was like "Oh, of course!" and I did, and the looks of intense hatred on their faces was priceless. This is why I like girl boobs.