I need to find myself

So, I've been hating life in school. I used to have my whole life planned out, but I'm just not sure anymore. I've been seriously miserable here.

Then, my mom had a brilliant idea today; I need to get out of this place and just LIVE before I can figure out what to do for the rest of my life.

Sooooo, after this semester, I'm planning on just taking off. The two places I'm considering between right now are Peru or Honduras. I'm not sure which I want to do yet. I need to think about it more. But then again, I may find a different place all together. Who knows!

But in Peru, I'd be living and working in an orphanage in Ayacucho, which is one of the poorest towns there. And if I go to Honduras, I'd be in Cofradia, teaching English to young children.

I'm pretty excited to finally live a little :D I have no idea when I'd be going though. If this all works out, I think I'd be leaving anytime between May and September, and staying for 6ish months. I'd rather go sooner than later though, so I can be home for Christmas. But yes! I'm rather excited to actually live my life

YES! Good, I'm so happy for you!!

Jess wrote:

I used to have my whole life planned out

This is impossible to do, at least from what I've experienced. I used to get extremely hung up on my future and what I was supposed to be doing. But now I'm free, in a sense, and I'm just doing what I want. It took me a freaking long time to find myself. You've got a good head on your shoulders.

I've now learned it's impossible to do too. But I was young and naive

Canadians plan everything

So cliche.


Finding yourself


Look there you are. I found you there now that wasn't so hard

I face the same struggles, everyday, Jess.

No way Jess, what Cam says is absolutely right. I know we talked just recently about writing and stuff and how I kept vacillating between like, WHAT I wanted to write and I'm still not really there.......but anyways......I don't think I mentioned that I did all that after going to a college specifically for a Pre-Law program...and that was after being on the track in High School to basically be a scientist like I'd always wanted. I didn't have to take any but the most basic 'humanities' classes that I needed to graduate and I took 2 different sciences every year and advanced Maths. Yeah. So, you can't have your whole life planned out, or at least many people find they can't. Just be glad you caught it early. My best friend graduated from Law School last year worked as a lawyer for about 7 months before she was like "Yeah........this isn't what I want." and is now working at a brokerage firm while figuring out what she wants to do. If you can figure this out now, go for it. MY vote would be Peru......but I've really gotta say that's just because I know nothing on Honduras and I've always thought it would be fun to go to Peru.

Peru also seems a little safer than Honduras at the current moment, with the recent overthrow of the government in Honduras and all that mess.

Most of my life I wanted to be a housewife. My grandmother was a housewife. Never worked, hell she never got her drivers liscense either. She raised 5 kids and led a fairly normal life. She was my favorite person in the whole wide world. She is the only one that loved me unconditionally.

Im basically doing what I have always wanted.... be a house wife. Im home every day, I dont have to deal with idiots and morons in the real world, and I get to do what I want ... basically. What got fucked up for me was the fact that I married someone who didnt want to leave Texas, because his dad is here. ....

Someday, my wonderful hubby is going to move me out of Texas.... away from this place.... But.... Im not sure there is another state anymore that i want to live in. It used to be California...MY ENTIRE LIFE I have wanted to live there.


but it is true that a major earth quake like the one that just hit haiti will hit california.... its just a matter of time before that San Andrea's fault line gives way and shakes that whole state to rubble or into the ocean. I dont want to finally make it to Cali and then lose everything I have in an earthquake.


Not to mention the US is going to shit. I wont get into politics but... IT'S GOING TO SHIT. So, I have started looking at places abroad..........AND I FOUND SOMEWHERE that I wouldnt mind moving to. ..


Good Ole Australia. There laws arent all fucked up like the UK is. Australia isnt over run with dangerous Muslims and.... there's plenty of sunny beach weather for me to enjoy. I've told Sean (belasen) that I'd like to move there someday. But I can't think about moving to another country untill Boyd's father is no longer a concern. Boyd will never leave his father. So we wait.


PS. I agree with what DJ said. Don't go to Honduras. It's not safe.

Jess, this is amazing I'm so glad you're doing this. I know what you mean, I'm far enough into school that I'm just finishing for the sake of finishing, but I hate my major, my degree is going to be worthless to me, and I will probably have an enormously difficult time trying to find a career.

Anyway, when I graduate, I plan on joining the Peace Corps so I can soul-search and actually do something for other people while I'm "finding myself." I think my thing is that I need to get out of the United States and countries similar. I need to get away and see something that feels more real to me. I don't mean that the United States is unreal, but I want to go to a place where that feels more...genuine? I dunno how to explain it at the moment, I suppose.

But yeah, I think that's awesome!!

I wanted to join the Peace Corps for years. Then I found out you have to be American.

DJ....are you really just letting that hand there?

Professor MoMo wrote:

DJ....are you really just letting that hand there?

Not sure what you mean.

PS, I now might be going to South Korea, hahahaha. My mom reminded me I have a lease until September, so even if I go for only 6 months, I'll be missing Christmas, since I don't want to leave during the summer and be stuck paying $450 a month until the end of August despite not living here. Since I'll be leaving in September then (unless there's a project I really want to do that leave in July/August. But my mom doesn't want me leaving right when school ends), and spending Christmas there, she'd rather me go to South Korea, since I have one cousin and her boyfriend over there right now, teaching English, and my other cousin is planning on going there in September. That way, I can still spend Christmas with some family

I'll keep you all posted

Jess wrote:

I wanted to join the Peace Corps for years. Then I found out you have to be American.

That DJ, COME ON!!!! She can't do it because she's what now??????

Professor MoMo wrote:

Jess wrote:

I wanted to join the Peace Corps for years. Then I found out you have to be American.

That DJ, COME ON!!!! She can't do it because she's what now??????

STFU!

I love how I'M the only one teased about being Canadian, when I can list 3 other OP Canadians off the top of my head, hahaha

They hide it Jess, with good reason.

Just joking! Lol.

Anyway, I love that you mentioned Honduras, because I am Honduran, and no one really ever talks about Honduras, and lately it's been popping up all over the place (albeit, not always for happy reasons.) In any case I am happy that you are considering it as one of your options, although having a family there like I do definitely changes things, also if you are going there just to "vacation" it's much different than having a true purpose like you would there or elsewhere.

I really don't know what is best for you, but I know that I myself am just starting college, and wondering "what they hell am I doing?", or my appropriately "Why the hell am I doing THIS?" I guess it takes us all time to know that stuff, but I hope finding yourself, and the method you use to do it goes well.

HEY! I'M NOT TEASING YOU......I'm just encouraging DJ to.

Those little 'fights' you two have about it are just SO adorable!!!

DJ and I argue about everything. And you all love it.

I vote Peru, solely because it has Machu Picchu which is the most amazing place ever.



I'm sure Honduras and South Korea have cool things too though. Personally, I would choose based on whatever organization/program because that will have a big impact on how your experience is. Also, it really helps to know the language wherever you go.

tbh with ya'll i know some of you know that i want to move out to LA (boohiss) and that dream is becoming more and more or a reality i'm going out there in a little over a month and a half to see if i can scope out some apartments, hopefully to move out there for a while in summer/fall. i feel like i would be happy being out there, being independent (again) and being with people i like and respect a lot.

oh and all the crazies too

so jess - in all honesty, wherever you go for a while, it will be worth it. i think traveling and experiencing different cultures (even within one's own country) makes a person grow and learn more about themselves and where we fit in (am i getting existential?)

"If not now, then when?" - that's what I read the night before I purchased my plane tickets to LA.

Jess wrote:

DJ and I argue about everything. And you all love it.

You all should get this reference.

Jess! why not just do laurier internation for 3rd and 4th year?

Honduras has got some ruins too....Guatemala areaish, but we got some history around the area, lol.

monokolopo wrote:

Jess! why not just do laurier internation for 3rd and 4th year?

I'm leaving school because I'm not happy with school. So staying IN school, not even knowing for sure if I'll be accepted into Laurier International would be stupid, lol.

But in March, I'm going to be taking an ESL course, so I'm pretty excited, because they do teaching placements too. My mom's friend who recommended it said her daughter was placed in China a week after completing the course. Obviously I won't be leaving during the semester, but it's good to know that they actually DO place you, lol